Meh!

Meh!

swiss

With the rise of the social medias in our lives, comparing ourselves to other people is I guess a natural thing. I even often compared myself to models like Gigi Hadid and Behati Prinsloo and then became so desperate that maybe only in my wildest dreams that I can have the abs and the body height that they do. At nights I can be very depressed that I wasn't as bright as MIT graduates. The more sickening thing was comparing myself with apparently-blessed-with-everything people who are at once smart, beautiful, rich, can sing, kind, etc. It's bizarre because now we can compare ourselves to anyone, far beyond our friendship or neighborhood circles as people did in the past. It's also a paradox because it's now easy for us to compare, but altogether is very hard for our mental.

A bad comparison can result in two bad attitudes. Recently, I realized about how mean I was to myself. With the self-esteem crisis caused by those comparisons, I unconsciously belittled myself. That's very unkind. That's a horror. That's very resources intensive. I became unhealthy to my own self and ungrateful. On the other hand, sometimes I became very arrogant because of thinking that I was better than some people else. There's an error in my mind because I just compared my excellency with their shortcomings. I neglected the other variables that I might be a losser on them. Remember why the satans were cursed? Because of comparison! They thought that they were better than humans.

I'm not an SQL expert, but let me tell you something. Based on my experiences, comparisons in SQL queries (Database stuffs usually done by IT people, in case you are wondering) are very resource eaters. Your computer can be very tired and need a very long time to do the queries. Yoh can tune them with some indexes, but indexing also requires energy. If you want to add a large data to your database so that you can extend the number of the comparisons, you need to turn the indexes off first and then reindexing again! The lesson is, even the machine doesn't really like comparison! Cmiiw.

I believe that the sum of the blessings God has given to us is actually the same. We maybe have different qualities on different variables, but the total of the qualities are the same for everyone. God is fair, but the calculation is beyond our capacity. For example, maybe Gigi Hadid is more beautiful than I am, but I can climb a guava tree very high! (Or maybe she can too?)

Let's avoid things that will end up in vain, like a bad comparison. Let's love ourselves with balance: don't belittle ourselves, yet don't be arrogant. (I'm telling myself now). You can compare yourself to yourself in the past, but never with other people!

Lastly, if you ask me, I don't really know what actually I'm talking about.

Good night, all. Bonne nuit. Gute Nacht. Sugeng ndalu. Selamat malam. Modom. Konbanwa. Assalamualaikum.

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