Was Alain de Botton Right on How We Choose Our Partner?

toxic relationship

From his video series in The School of Life, at least several times I caught on how Alain de Botton thinks about human behavior on finding their partner. According to de Botton, humans are only attracted to, even when we agree that we are free to choose our partners, certain type of people. Here, we tend to choose familiar people. This is because, said de Botton, that we want to recreate the feeling of love that we experienced when we were just small. The negative impact of this kind of behavior is that we choose difficult partners. So, there could be a case when instead we choose the kind ones, we choose those who fulfill our needs for suffering in similar ways that we got in our childhood. However, just because this guy talked on Ted and also has a channel that nearly reaches 5 million subscribers, should we just automatically believe in what he says? To know the answer, particularly about this idea of choosing a partner, I did a small research on Instagram. Does the result counter the notion that de Botton brought?

Do People Around Me Tend to be Tournament or Pair-Bonding Species? :))

tournamet species

It began from my curiosity about the genetic algorithm that I decided to learn more about biology. After that decision, it's like that every day comes with new dissonances. Knowing that animal behaviors are readable was actually hard enough for me, till knowing a kind of species that are called Tournament species. As a fairy-tale believer and infused-with-romanticism species since when I was just a kid, it was the hardest LoL. Did reality just ruin my life? Okay, if humans are in-between these two categories, somewhere between tournament species and pair-bonding species, at least what about in my social circle? What is the probability of me getting the pair-bonding-tended man? This maybe sound cringy, but I really did a small research to find out the answer.

A Legacy from Jun

hero

In 2015, I was so fortunate to meet an osteosarcoma patient, Junaidi. He was 16/17 years old at that moment. After discussing about life and his dream in a hospital, later he sent me this picture via WhatsApp. I always wondered after that experience, who was here the patient? Why was he the one who gave me life advice? Shouldn't it have been me? Then I realized, that sometimes the one who lost so much, are the ones who can give so much.

Junaidi passed away several months later, only days before he could even try his new prosthetic. However, his lesson of kindness will be with me forever.

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